Eurovision Song Contest

The Eurovision Song Contest is a singing competition involving countries in Europe and Australia. You would be lucky to find a Brit who actually cares about Eurovision rather than watching it just to hear Graham Norton slag off the other acts. After last winning in 1997, the United Kingdom has almost consistently come in the bottom half from then on.

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European countries put forwards their entries and the poor countries have to battle it out in the semi finals to get through to the live finals. The rich countries (Germany, Italy, Spain, UK and France) get a free pass to the live finals because apparently getting a fast track ticket to an embarrassing last place is the reward for being a significant contributor to the EBU.

Countries will vote for either the countries they get cosy with or countries whose songs they liked. Eurovision organisers insist the voting is not political at all but Brits call their relatives in Ireland and Australia begging for their votes because it’s all we can get.

Many Brits view Eurovision as a joke but the few who take it seriously organise viewing parties, hold sweepstakes and fill out their own scoreboards.